Tricking vs Tricking, While Having It

In recent years, a new philosophy has arisen. Stemming mostly from the hip-hop culture, this new train of thought looks to remove the tag of "john" from those who can pay for it. This not-so-new ideology is coming back with a renewed fervor, as ugly niggas who can't get a woman to like them start to get money.

For the next few moments, our subject is "It AIN'T trickin if I got it???"

Since the beginning of pussy, there have been losers willing to pay for it. Women, knowing what fools men (and some women) are, have been willing to exploit this for just as long. Especially in times like now, when economic conditions are rough, and she might need that Louis Vuitton purse...why NOT fuck Lil Wayne for a couple G's? Why NOT have 50's baby and collect exorbitant amounts of child support for 18 years? Why NOT blow Gary Coleman and....nevermind, bad example. You get the picture though.

Truthfully, I disagree. By the same reasoning as "it ain't trickin if you got it," then "it ain't homo if you don't swallow" or "it ain't murder if you rob em first." Completely illogical.

Trickin == trickin, whether or not you "have it." Just like "fuckin somebody in the ass" is gay whether it's male or female...(even if you were drunk, and she ASKED you to do it, and you only did it once...or twice...ok six times) it's still not acceptable.

I'm really curious as to how these assholes can justify indemnification of prostituation, just on the basis that they can AFFORD it. If YOU understand, please help ME the fuck out.

My opinion: It IS trickin....even if you got it. Fuckers.

Bus Log: 13 Oct 2008

Been kinda slippin on posting the bus logs. This is a compilation of the best of the last two weeks or so.

• The Human Punchline

At Northland in the morning, this guy walks up talkin on his phone really obnoxiously loud for no reason. First of all, it's 8 in the morning. STFU talkin so GOTdamn loud! Secondly, STFU! I just KNEW he had to be joking with his conversation. He was seriously like Walking Blaxploitation. I don't even think he was on the phone with anybody. I think he's just a fan of the Bus Logs and wanted to see if he could make it. Congratulations asshole, you did it! Here's some of his stupidity:


• "I don't play no games. Ion't even play PLAYSTATION, ya dig?"


• "I tell a bitch to jump off a tall bridge to a short curb, ya dig?"


• "I keep it mighty clean wit da gangsta LEAN, ya dig?"


• "I'm a skinny nigga, but I'm heavy.....ya dig?"



• Fly ass Midget

Same day, evening. This lil midget hobbles up to the bus on crutches. And I nearly pissed my pants thinking "How is he gonna climb up on this muthafucka???" I wanted to pick him up like my nephew like "there ya go lil man" and then steal his fly ass baby clothes. He had on a dope ass Rocawear jacket, some nice jeans, and a fitted. I didn't even know they MADE fitteds that small. He looked like Allen Iverson's evil mini-clone. (If he was really evil, I don't know. Just makes sense that midgets are evil...now I hope I don't have nightmares about evil midgets attacking my shins tonight)


• Unfit Mother

At the Fairlane bus stop. This young mother gets off the bus in the rain with her child in a stroller, uncovered. The child is getting rained on. This dumb bitch noticed a spot of dirt on her Prada galoshes, pulls out a bottle of water, and cleans her boots off BEFORE covering up her baby from the rain.


• Half-Hat Idiot

Same day, same stop - Fairlane. This fool gets off the bus in the cold and rain with his skull cap halfway on his head, so you can see his waves I guess. IT'S FUCKIN RAINING, DIPSHIT! What's the point of wearing a hat if it's not ON your head??? Maybe I'm just gettin old. WTF???


• Bluebraids

OK, now this shit REALLY had me trippin. First of all, it was like the first cold day of the fall, AND it was the day the hoe ass DDOT employees decided to stage their half-assed-not-quite-a-strike strike. So buses were RUNNING, but late and infrequent as hell. . . as the fuck usual.

Anyway, I had been standing on the corner of Grand River and Warren with idiot ass high schoolers for about an hour, when this broad comes walking up. SHE had half her head braided black and half braided......wait for it.....ELECTRIC FUCKING BLUE! I was beside myself. Seizing the opportunity, I picked up my phone, started the camera, and pretended to make a phone call. As I walked by her, repeatedly, I took pictures. Ion't wanna hear nobody like "Ay man, that's my COUSIN! Take that shit down!" Fuck dat. Tell THAT bitch get a real hairstyle. Enjoy.






• The Incompetent Stowaway

On the Grand River bus, morning. Everything seems normal. It's a pretty nice day outside, the bus is crowded, but not OVER-crowded. I'm reading my book. Everything is fine and dandy. Everything is going so well, I didn't realize that we were stopped on the side of the road for 5 minutes. I guess nobody else noticed either, until one nigga...


• One Nigga: AY BUS DRIVA! BUS DRIVA!!! WHAT WE STOPPED FO MAN?!
  Another: YEAH BUS DRIVA! WHAT WE STOPPED FO MAN?!
  ON: COME ON MAN WHY U HOLDIN US UP BABY?!
  Bus Driva: Ain't ME holdin yall up, it's YALL holdin yall up
  Everybody::Confused silence::
  ON:AWW COME ON BUS DRIVA BABY! WHATCHU MEAN WE HOLDIN US UP?! MAN I GOT MOVES TO MAKE BABY! ::wipes nose::
  BD: Yall need to talk to dude who refused to pay. I ain't movin till he get off this bus or pay his fare.
  Angry Mob ::collectively, sensing the opportunity for blood:: AW SHEIT! WHO IS IT BUS DRIVA?! TELL US WHO IT IS! WE'LL GET HIM OFF!! POINT HIM OUT!!
  BD: ::adjusts his mirror to see the bus::
  ON: Yeah let us know baby...We'll get his ass offa here!
  
  ...... suspense ......
  
  
  ...... suspense ......
  
  BD: ::points:: Him.
  ON: ME?!?! I PAID you man! ::goes to pay his fare:: Man why u ain't TELL me I ain't pay you, bus driva man?! I woulda PAID u mane!
  
  Aw man I laughed my ever-lovin ASS off AAAAALL the way downtown at this fool.
  
  



• Conspiring Bum

This wasn't actually on the bus, but outside Union Street Grill on Woodward, Monday night when I was approached by a druggy-looking woman with a clipboard.


• Druggy:
Askuse me surr, we iz tryyyyin ta bild a shelta fa battered womens. woudju giv....
Me: No.



I wouldn't have been so cold had the circumstances surrounding her story not been so....shady. First of all, it's about 10pm, raining, and she was OBVIOUSLY a [insert drug of choice here]-head. Who the hell collects for any organization at 10pm in the rain outside a restaurant??? This woman found a clipboard and a pen, and thought she had hit a MAD lick. That clipboard was gon be her tool to prosperity!

...idiot...

Reprogramming Our Youth

More gun violence in the city. The perpetrators and victims are KIDS! What the fuck is WRONG in this society??? I am really at a loss for words when I see incidents like this because it's just mind-boggling how short-sighted, ignorant, and hopeless these children are today.

I want to at least TRY to help.

I want to sit down and really talk to some of these young people and find out why they're so troubled. Maybe I can show them that there is another way besides what they hear in the ignorant rap music.

I saw a young guy walking down the street the other day with his pants sagging, and wanted to ask him "why? What the fuck is the POINT in showing us your butt? Is it to attract girls? Is it to attract GUYS?" I don't know, but the shit just looks STUPID! I did it one time, in the third grade (they were also backwards, but that's neither here nor there) and my ol dude embarrassed the shit outta me in front of a buncha my friends. After that, I never had the desire to wear my pants like that again.

Anyway, I want to start a group within the City of Detroit which focuses on changing the mindset that young Black men have to be thugs in order to be respected. They need to know that there are other avenues available to them. As well, then need to be given a means to reach them. They need to know that a gun is NEVER an acceptable option for conflict resolution. It really is time for this cycle of ignorance to stop perpetuating itself in the Black community. We need to come together, and be just that - a commUNITY!

I have no idea how to go about doing this, which is why I'm calling on whomever is interested in brainstorming to get this idea off the ground. Get at me tomdabomb2u@gmail.com. I'm really ready to do this.

Peace.

Mondays. . .

OK. So I'm sitting in the lounge at school with a buncha folk. At this point, I'm used to being the only Black guy in the room at LTU. We're all joking and having a good time, when one of them says "I hate Mondays..." and all of them start crackin up. I found it a little weird, being that it was Tuesday, but I paid it no attention. Then they kept talking about it. One of them said "Urban Dictionary has a definition - 'a word that can be used to describe a black person without insulting them with them knowing.' hahahaha"

I looked up and said "WHAT?!"



And everybody got quiet. . .


So I looked it up, and sure enough. . . Monday. One friend of mine said "Kill them. NOW!" . . . . after strong consideration, I decided to just leave. But I can't say it didn't bother the shit outta me.

I HATE to generalize a whole race by saying "white people are racist, and not to be trusted" but they keep proving the shit RIGHT! Shit like this makes me wonder how my white friends talk about me when I'm not around.

The more I think about it, the more upset I get, and the more heads I wanna crack (figuratively?)




. . . . now tell me what the fuck am I supposed to do?

I understand Love Lockdown!

OK. . . so I NEVER been one for the funny voice shit, but Kanye makes me hate it just enough to make it lovable! When I first heard Love Lockdown, I pictured a disheveled Kanye West alone in a studio - bloodshot eyes, unshaven, collar up on an expensive ass button-up with a blazer, beating out notes on a keyboard, singing drunken randomness about shit nobody cared about. . . .

. . . then i started drinking . . .

And magically, everything made sense!

And I heard this version.

I've BEEN where Kanye is! Some dumb broad thinks she IS what she AIN'T! And he's TOLD her she AIN'T what she THINK she is cuz somebody ELSE is that, but SHE don't wanna hear it! It's kinda like tryina explain somethin to somebody, but not knowing the words, so it just comes out like "Whenever the time might be, we together might make the most of whatever it is that is the utmost of the almost might have been of whatever we thought was, but never came to actuality. And even though for the furtherance of the cause might justify the opposite, we could even not try the distant alternative." Make sense??? NO!!!! Just like Love Lockdown doesn't make sense! Just gotta FEEL it! When you listen to it DRUNK and OPEN-MINDED, it's GINEUS!!!

As for me, I'M DEFINITELY keeping MY love on lockdown from NOW ON!!!


-----
EDIT - It is now the next day. I am sober, and no longer understand Love Lockdown. Ay, Dios mio! :-(

Bus Log: Tue 07 Oct 2008 - Return to HP

Taking McNichols to Woodward today instead of Grand River straight down. This route takes me directly through the heart of Highland Park, or as I like to call it, "The Land of WTF???"

Not much activity on the 6 Mile bus, but when I transferred onto Woodward, I made the decision to not get on the DDOT, but I opted to wait for a Smart.

And the ignorance ensued shortly thereafter. . .

I walked to my seat near the back of the bus, and there's this old man sitting dead center in the back, taking up 3 of the 5 seats. He's not big, just got his legs spread wide open, so no one can sit to his immediate left or right. There are people in both corners though, a woman on the left and a guy on the right. Old guy is wearing a button-up that looks like an old No-Limit album cover. It's bright orange, rayon and has a New York Interstate sign and a naked woman on it.

He's already talking

Ugly Shirt: . . .jumped out, SHOT THAT MUTHAFUCKA WITTA 38!
Woman to Left: Fo REAL?
US: YOU ever shot a chicken before???
W: Nah.
Man to Right: I ain't neva SHOT one, but I sho do kill a Church's Tuesday Special!

...during this time, I'm struggling to keep up, typing shorthand all that I can in my phone. People HAVE to realize that I'm taking notes on them when they're doin this crazy shit.

US: Sheeit, if I get hungry enough, I'll eat HER! ::points to Woman to Left::
WL: ::unamused, with alarmed look in her eyes, turns to ignore him::
US: Yep, if I was starvin, I'd start wit them two lil fingers, pop em in my mouth and eat em! How bout u man? Whassisname. . . DAHMER did it! And she a beautiful guh too!

LMAO WTF does being beautiful have to do with eating (non-sexually, of course) a person alive??? Do beautiful people taste better??

US: Sheeit, man my daddy from Alabama, and my mama from Arkansas - I can eat a raw steak! Uon't believe me do u? Man if I put some salt and pepper on it, some seasonin salt, Iont even need no stove!
MR: So you eat raw meat?
US: Well not a WHOOOOLE lot, but I can DO it.
MR: You like vegetables too?
US: Yeah I like em. But BLOOD keep us alive! If u run out, how long u think u'll be here???
MR: So you would never be a vegetarian huh?
US: ::looked like his feelings were hurt:: NAW! Man I'm a MEAT man!! Man they tell u shit bad for u and it really don't be! Lookit bottled water. Shit, man u take some water out the faucet, put it in the fij-a-rater, whatchu got?? Bottled water.
Me: ::taking a sip of my bottled water, hoping to catch his attention::
US: Looka here - aaawwls u gotta do, go out the country, dig a hole, u got good water! HERE, u gon find a skeleton! And if u got a choice, u gon live or die???

Other highlights

• Gray Tufts
  This lady is on the bus with thinning, VERY gray hair. . . with jet black braided ponytail extensions.



• Hood President
  Some idiot wrote "Jon MacCaine - 7 Mile President." ....gotta admit, this asshole is kinda creative.

Lessons I've Learned the Hard Way

• 1.) Curious people should not iron naked.


• 2.) Re: #1 - Nipples DO scab


• 3.) Cialis is not for young men. You will murder someone
  (. . .from what I hear. . .)


• 4.) That warning label on the bottle of 151 is not for decoration - it IS actually flammable. . . . . VERY flammable, in fact.


• 5.) Air spray does not kill bees, only angers them.


• 6.) If you know there are centipedes where you sleep, do not do a Google Image search on centipedes before going to bed.


• 7.) You cannot cook the "spoil" out of meat. If it smells bad BEFORE you cook it, abort the mission - eat a bowl of cereal instead.


• 8.) Red Bull on an empty stomach makes your (my) balls hurt for some reason.

I hope someone finds this knowledge useful and avoids some of the situations I've had to face.

Godspeed.