Just as I had reconciled myself with not having enough loonies on a consistent enough basis to write regular Bus Logs, today happens...
Background
I got to the bus stop at 8:45....the bus did not arrive until 9:30. Of course when it got there it was DUMB crowded. Let me introduce u to the cast of characters.
The Sensible Booster
The bus was so crowded, the driver just let me on the back of the bus without paying. I get on, and there's this old man with 3 bottles of assorted varieties of Tide on the floor in front of him on his duffle bag. He says to me, without looking at me, (almost like how the weed boy say "got dem trees" where u can hear it JUST enough to make it out)
SB: Got Tide n batteries. Tide n batteries bruh. Give u a good deal.
I had my headphones on and pretended not to hear.
Couple stops later, the driver stops, and there's a wheelchair man who wants to get on. Mind you, this bus is filled OVER capacity right now. You got disgruntled fools from every part of the city on this joint at this point. So he gets off, opens up the back door and starts trying to find a way to let The Inconvenient Handicap on.
These fools LOST it!
"I KNOW he ain't bouta try to put him on this bus!"
"Aint no mo room muthaf*cka!"
"Make his *ss wait for the next one!!"
"I got an appointment I'm late fa!"
That last one came from a real cracky-lookin broad. All I could think was how she ain't have to worry; the crack spot is 24 hours, and they take walk-ins. You'll be ok. Your crack will be waiting on you, Ms. Cracky McCrackins.
So we squeeze in more, making room for Handiman. Some people got off, angrily, which I didn't mind.
Anyway, I look up at Mr. Wheeler and see him fumbling with his hands and kinda mumbling. So I assume he has a mental disability. Upon closer inspection, I notice this fool is STACKIN! His new name is Handi-Crip. I didn't know fools still really DID that sh*t! I was astounded. That explains his injury now - he got shot in the spine...still thuggin n rollin. 50 Cent ain't got shit on my real Detroit thugs!
:-\
We're nearing downtown and SB starts to pack up his belongings. Says to himself
SB: Let me pack up my PRODUCT...
I looked at him and laughed. HE knew that sh*t was funny.
A bunch of people gettin off the bus and I see a hand reach through the crowd with a bus transfer with writing on it pointing to the back corner of the bus. Somebody passes it back, and I look to see who it was going to. An unsuspecting young lady in the back of the bus had caught the attention of the hood rat guys. He got off the bus and she probably didn't even see who she was supposed to be calling. That guy was a f*ckin idiot....or a 7th grader.
These old men went absolutely NUTS! Including Tide Guy.
"OOOoooooOh-WEE!"
"I wish EYE was younger!"
"U gon tear it up now or later?"
"Guhl, u KNOW u got it goin on!"
....but she really didn't. Ladies, put a bright red streak in your permed hair, and yo ugly ass can fool most n*ggas.
After most have gotten off, i'm on the bus taking notes on my phone and hear one of the old men who just accosted the ugly girl ask me
Old Loser:That's a iPhone? What kinda case u got on there? That's a skin? Yeah I got one too. Mine ain't got no case tho. U gotta download what iTunes to get stuff on there? U get access to what a hunnit thousand apps? They got some nice stuff. Yeah I got one too. ::reaches in pocket pulls out nothing::
It was literally like that. I didn't say a word...
Right before my stop, this guy picks up the transfer that dude wrote his number on for ol girl. Mumbles "this somebody number!" puts in pocket, gets off bus.
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