Not much activity on the 6 Mile bus, but when I transferred onto Woodward, I made the decision to not get on the DDOT, but I opted to wait for a Smart.
And the ignorance ensued shortly thereafter. . .
I walked to my seat near the back of the bus, and there's this old man sitting dead center in the back, taking up 3 of the 5 seats. He's not big, just got his legs spread wide open, so no one can sit to his immediate left or right. There are people in both corners though, a woman on the left and a guy on the right. Old guy is wearing a button-up that looks like an old No-Limit album cover. It's bright orange, rayon and has a New York Interstate sign and a naked woman on it.
He's already talking
Ugly Shirt: . . .jumped out, SHOT THAT MUTHAFUCKA WITTA 38!
Woman to Left: Fo REAL?
US: YOU ever shot a chicken before???
W: Nah.
Man to Right: I ain't neva SHOT one, but I sho do kill a Church's Tuesday Special!
...during this time, I'm struggling to keep up, typing shorthand all that I can in my phone. People HAVE to realize that I'm taking notes on them when they're doin this crazy shit.
US: Sheeit, if I get hungry enough, I'll eat HER! ::points to Woman to Left::
WL: ::unamused, with alarmed look in her eyes, turns to ignore him::
US: Yep, if I was starvin, I'd start wit them two lil fingers, pop em in my mouth and eat em! How bout u man? Whassisname. . . DAHMER did it! And she a beautiful guh too!
LMAO WTF does being beautiful have to do with eating (non-sexually, of course) a person alive??? Do beautiful people taste better??
US: Sheeit, man my daddy from Alabama, and my mama from Arkansas - I can eat a raw steak! Uon't believe me do u? Man if I put some salt and pepper on it, some seasonin salt, Iont even need no stove!
MR: So you eat raw meat?
US: Well not a WHOOOOLE lot, but I can DO it.
MR: You like vegetables too?
US: Yeah I like em. But BLOOD keep us alive! If u run out, how long u think u'll be here???
MR: So you would never be a vegetarian huh?
US: ::looked like his feelings were hurt:: NAW! Man I'm a MEAT man!! Man they tell u shit bad for u and it really don't be! Lookit bottled water. Shit, man u take some water out the faucet, put it in the fij-a-rater, whatchu got?? Bottled water.
Me: ::taking a sip of my bottled water, hoping to catch his attention::
US: Looka here - aaawwls u gotta do, go out the country, dig a hole, u got good water! HERE, u gon find a skeleton! And if u got a choice, u gon live or die???
Other highlights
- Gray Tufts
This lady is on the bus with thinning, VERY gray hair. . . with jet black braided ponytail extensions. - Hood President
Some idiot wrote "Jon MacCaine - 7 Mile President." ....gotta admit, this asshole is kinda creative.
1 comment:
HP is the land of WTF....dude this is too funny you need a hidden camera for real!
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