Picture, if you will this guy. Walking down the street. In his hand, a wooden board and a bottle of lemon scented dollar store bleach. No need to picture it; I've done it for u:
As he strolls down the street, he yells, excitedly at you:
Crazy bum with wood: I love u. I know who YOU love! BETTA love GAWD!
Then, he turns to a random woman and yells:
CBWW: Woman I love u! I love everythang ABOUT u!
Woman: ::carefully evades him on sidewalk::
CBWW: I love the way u WALK! I know u can SANG too!
Walkin past the bank, looks up as if he remembers,
CBWW: Oh! where that lady officer? I LOVE U OFFICA! MAMMA MIA PIZZA PIA!
------------------------------
Once I got on the bus, this girl, prolly skipping school, says to a guy wearing a McDonald's hat..and a McDonald's shirt......and McDonald's pants.........and a McDonald's jacket, "U work at McDonald's a suh-in??" And said it in like what I'm assuming was her version of a sexy voice...like she wad tryina get on by taking an interest in this man's fast food work!
(lmao! Just thought of Calvin from Chappelle's "WacArnold's" sketch as I'm typing this)
------------------------------
Driving down Woodward, noticed that they have side streets blocked off to shoot the "Red Dawn" movie.
Hood rat: I should be in a movie too! ::pats weave::
Me: ::thinking:: u prolly are. They sell it in the bathroom at Deja Vu. . .
------------------------------
As I think there can't possibly be anymore excitement for one 3 mile bus ride, I'm startled by a troll:
Troll Woman: can yall believe dat?? Bitchin ova a QUARTA! dis early in da MORNIN!
Apparently, the bus driver either wouldn't let someone else on the bus or barely let her on for being short a bit. She then went back and sat down.
....less than a minute later, walks BACK to the front and continues the rant:
TW: A BROTHA!! Workin for a multi million dolla corporation! U oughta b ashamed. Black bus driva!
Bus driver: ::ignoring her:: everybody, we can't make it to the transit center cuz the movie people got the streets blocked off. This as close as I an get --
TW: ::interrupting:: GIVE EVERYBODY THEY MONEY BACK! ::standing right next to bus driver, turns to us like we're her audience. ::Continues condemnation:: You KNOW he had bad luck all his life that's why he drivin this BUS! U wish u had a limo!
Bus driver: ::finally acknowledging her:: Miss Daisy, THIS yo limo, da BUS!
TW: He gon DIE a bus driver wit no promotions! Coleman A. Young my uncle! Sidney Jacobs my name! Then she gets off like that was her cue to exit stage right.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
No comments:
Post a Comment