Legally Palin/ Joker McCain

Time for some good ol' conspiracy theories. . . here's a couple just to keep you wondering.

• The Republicans are trying to throw this election on purpose. They realize that they messed up, and want to let the Democrats fix their mess. They can't publicly roll over, so they at least pretend to put up a fight.
  
  Seriously, take a look at their candidates: If elected, John McCain WILL die before his first term is over. When that happens, we'd have WHO as the Commander in Chief??? You guessed it, Jenna Jameson's alter ego: Sarah Palin. I could see this shit play out like "Legally Blonde 3: Paint the White House Pink. . . TOTALLY!"
  
  
  
  
  International relations would be much lower than they are now. She'd alienate us from Mexico by trying to hire the entire country as our Official Drywallers and Landscapers. She'd accuse every African nation of reckless eyeballing, and France (probably justifiably so) of sexual harassment. She'd continually smack our little brother Canada in the back of the head when he tries to offer us some sensible advice. Eventually she would call for separation from little brother. either by physically cutting the border and pushing him away, or building a 20-foot thick wall along the entire US/ Canadian border. . . . By then, I'll be mayor of Detroit, runnin these cold streets from Windsor. Text me if you need me.
  
  What up Kwame?!


John McCain is the Joker

• He just wears makeup to cover his scars.