Bus Log: Fri 31 July 2009

BACK! After almost a year of unemployment, I'm back working...downtown at that. Hopefully these will come more frequently now.

OK, so taking the Grand River bus from the northwest side to downtown, I see a lotta people. Some standing at bus stops, some walking down the street, some in cars, etc. This one chic standing at the bus stop had a BAAAAD body....but looked like she had suffered YEARS of abuse by numerous ugly sticks. She had an ugly that wouldn't quit. She was so ugly, looking at her, you would instantly forget how bad her body was. Like it was so bad, her ugly would dissolve a paper bag. . . . but lemme tell you how amazing a product is lip gloss. She put that shit on soooo thick, and it was soooo shiny, it almost distracted me from her ugly momentarily. . . . almost.

Moving on.

At Grand River/ Fenkell McDonald's, Flava Flav's mama was running from the restaurant to the bus stop with a drink in her hand tryina catch the bus. Every 5 steps or so, she would stop to sip her drink, then continue running. My imagination of her thought process made this even more entertaining. It went a lil something like this:

OMG BUS LEAVIN!! ::running::
But this drink is delicious... ::sipping::
BUT THE BUS IS LEAVING!!! ::running::
But MAN this drink is amazing... ::sipping::

Then, on the bus, there seemed to be an unusually large number of old people who didn't get the memo that they were old. this one guy had on some "Cartier ;-)" glasses, a beater and a big ol Jesus piece....like the big charm with a face of (what the tell us is) Jesus, encrusted in "[diamonds]." THIS MUTHAFUCKA WAS 70 YEARS OLD!!!! AT LEAST!!! He looked like he had a pocket full of candy corn and one dollar bills! He was probably taking the bus to the cemetery just to save his family the hassle. Old people. . .

If you're ever driving down Grand River, take notice of some of the weird ass business and store names/ logos. Here are a couple:

• Da Jump Off - I have no idea what it is or was or what the fuck they sell or do.
• Larry's Discount Tools - With a picture of Larry, an angry beaver holding a hammer.

There was this idiot walking down the street wearing a shirt that said

I GOT
IT FOR
CHEAP

big as FUCK. So, not only are you not making much money, but you're basically wearing "PLEASE ARREST ME" big as hell on your chest. When did drug dealers get official uniforms??? One of two things is gonna happen with drug dealers:

1. They're going to all eventually die of dumbness cuz they're getting so fuckin dumber. Or
2. The Drug Dealers Association of America (The Government) will require an entrance exam and/ or bachelor's degree in order to get employment.

Once we got near downtown, this guy asked the bus driver to let him off at a light, while the bus was stopped...no big deal. Once we started moving again, this other bitch asked the bus driver "Can u let me off right here??" .....in the middle of the street, while the bus was moving full fucking speed. She yelled that like 2 or 3 times as we're driving down the street. Once we got to an actual bus stop, she storms off the bus and yells "BOUT DAMN TIME MUTHAFUCKA!" This guy follows her off the bus, cosigning, then runs down the street chasing pigeons.