Writing Proficiency

This is a real exam I took this afternoon, which I need to pass in order to graduate. . .

WRITING PROFICIENCY EXAM (COM3000)

Date: 31 March 2009 Start Time: 12:30pm

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Other Applications of Katrina Cottages

After Hurricane Katrina in 2001, the US Government had one of the worst response rates to a natural disaster ever. The storm forced people out of their homes and into makeshift shelters such as the Super Dome. Once the few established havens were filled to capacity, people had no choice but to live (and die) in the streets.

Once FEMA actually did arrive, their solution for temporary housing was far from ideal. Many of the FEMA-provided trailers had fundamental problems, and thus, were considered uninhabitable. In an effort to help in future disaster situations, private companies have now begun selling small, easy-to-build homes for use in exactly this type of scenario.

“Katrina Cottages,” as they are called, were developed in direct response to the failed effort by the Federal Government to provide shelter to the people of New Orleans affected by Hurricane Katrina. They range in size from 308 square feet to 1,807 square feet, and have as many as five bedrooms. While temporary disaster housing is one application for this product, it definitely has other uses.

The universe is huge, and the likelihood that humans are the only intelligent life is very slim. In the event that other organisms are more advanced than we are, they will probably visit Earth before we find them. In this scenario, we should have lodging available for them upon their arrival. Katrina Cottages are the perfect solution. Our extraterrestrial friends will enjoy the same comfort and amenities experienced by displaced and low-income Earth families. Leaps and bounds better than a FEMA trailer, the housing units are equipped with running water and electricity, and some even come with a covered porch. Our intergalactic guests can sip cool Earth lemonade in the shade while learning the best game our planet has to offer: bid-whist. What could be better?!

After a week of our Earthly hospitality, the aliens reveal to us that they are a band of interplanetary pirates, whose original intention was to come and destroy our planet, rape our natural resources, and leave us a barren, deserted, and dead world, as they had done in countless other galaxies. However, because of our comfortable amenities, they change their minds, and instead, decide to shower us with the latest technological advances, such as Playstation^® 7 and light sabers.

Another application of the Katrina Cottages is in the area of group housing. Nuns, ex-convicts, and whores alike all live in community settings which Katrina Cottages would adequately fit the bill. I do not know about everyone else, but I smell a reality TV show.

"Nuns, Gunnz & Hoes" premiers, based on the premise of the members of a convent, a halfway house, and a whorehouse all living together under one Katrina Cottage roof. The concept catches on like wildfire, and millions watch season 1. For season 2, MTV decides to expand to three cottages. This process continues for five more seasons.

By this time, MTV has the resources to buy tens of thousands of these all over the world, pairing the unlikeliest of people within its confines, and all the while keeping the cameras rolling. The benefits are tremendous! Local economies flourish because of the injection of new money being spent by MTV roadies and crew. Not to mention, the entertainment value is phenomenal.

Eventually, there are so many new shows that MTV has to expand to at least 38 stations. MTV outgrows, and eventually buys Viacom. Next, they apply to become a sovereign nation, and when the UN disagrees, MTV simply destroys its opposition with heat death ray guns (another gift from the friendly aliens). After making the astute realization that the organization is not a country, a shy (but incredibly handsome) entry-level employee from the former Detroit suggests the newly formed establishment call itself The Evil Empire of MTV. Those in charge love it, and the name sticks. Having graduated from Lawrence Technological University’s College of Engineering, he was required to take Technical and Professional Communications, as well as pass a Writing Proficiency Exam. Because of these two things, he was able to adeptly express his thoughts in writing to the upper management. The handsome young man works his way up the evil corporate ladder, and after just two short years, earns the title of Darth Thomas.

Clearly, Katrina Cottages have the capacity to drastically change the world. From housing a rogue band of intergalactic alien pirates bent on annihilating all life outside of themselves, to unwittingly fostering the destruction of our own society by an evil homegrown corporation, these ingenious houses definitely have a place in our world. Our main responsibility is to utilize them in the proper applications. The goal is to see a need and fulfill it, which is exactly what Katrina Cottages have the ability to do.